by Dan J Brennan (Author)
Price: $14.39
1 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions by Dan BrennanDan Brennan's book, supposedly, makes one main argument: Men and Women can share in deep, passionate, intimate friendships without sex. Or, contra Harry ("When Harry met Sally"), men and women can be 'just friends'. However, along the way in making this argument, Brennan makes some excellent points about friendship and intimacy, in general as well as in how they have been warped and distorted by our culture. Thus, he rightly points out that (especially among conservative Christians, but also in the culture at large) focused all of our intimacy and friendship into romantic cross-gender relationships (whether in marriage or out) and that this focus is damaging both our ability to make non-romantic friendships as well as our ability to flourish in romantic relationships.
Here's the thing though, I would much rather discuss Brennan's side points than his main points. I feel this way for a couple of reasons. First of all, intellectually, spiritually, and theologically I think Brennan is right on. However, I feel like he missed his mark on the focus when we speak culturally, emotionally, or in terms of effecting positive change in our church. Let me explain.
What our culture needs right now is a broader and more fleshed out idea of intimacy that does not necessarily involve genitalia. However, this is a side point. What our culture needs right now is to be critiqued for the over-sexualization of intimacy. However, this is a side point. I am glad Brennan includes these side points, they are almost what make the book worth reading. Still, the main point is that men and women can be just friends, but in our culture even the idea of friendship is slipping away...
Emotionally, Brennan holds out some tantalizing visons, but fails to engage at all in how individuals, who are damaged by our cultures distorted views of intimacy, can works towards these visions.
Finally, in terms of the church, Brennan has a lot to say about the problems we have caused. However, he completely ignores principals of change. As an aside, I find most books do. The cynical side of me wants to say that this is because controversy sells. I don't doubt many authors have much purer motives. However, read any book on helping people change and you will find things like "move slowly" and "speak gently." I am not saying Brennan should not say what he said; but where is the humility and grace? Where is the principle of the stronger brother submitting to the weaker, which we find so prevalent in the apostle Paul?
In the end, this is an incredibly well researched book, a fairly well written book, and, perhaps, a poorly aimed book. 3.5 out of 5 stars, conditionally recommended.
Here's the thing though, I would much rather discuss Brennan's side points than his main points. I feel this way for a couple of reasons. First of all, intellectually, spiritually, and theologically I think Brennan is right on. However, I feel like he missed his mark on the focus when we speak culturally, emotionally, or in terms of effecting positive change in our church. Let me explain.
What our culture needs right now is a broader and more fleshed out idea of intimacy that does not necessarily involve genitalia. However, this is a side point. What our culture needs right now is to be critiqued for the over-sexualization of intimacy. However, this is a side point. I am glad Brennan includes these side points, they are almost what make the book worth reading. Still, the main point is that men and women can be just friends, but in our culture even the idea of friendship is slipping away...
Emotionally, Brennan holds out some tantalizing visons, but fails to engage at all in how individuals, who are damaged by our cultures distorted views of intimacy, can works towards these visions.
Finally, in terms of the church, Brennan has a lot to say about the problems we have caused. However, he completely ignores principals of change. As an aside, I find most books do. The cynical side of me wants to say that this is because controversy sells. I don't doubt many authors have much purer motives. However, read any book on helping people change and you will find things like "move slowly" and "speak gently." I am not saying Brennan should not say what he said; but where is the humility and grace? Where is the principle of the stronger brother submitting to the weaker, which we find so prevalent in the apostle Paul?
In the end, this is an incredibly well researched book, a fairly well written book, and, perhaps, a poorly aimed book. 3.5 out of 5 stars, conditionally recommended.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
Courageous, Inspiring, ChallengingDan Brennan's ground-breaking book "Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions" courageously attacks the oldest and most difficult wall dividing the Christian church--the wall between male and female. Brick by brick, he dismantles the notion that intimate, even passionate, friendships between men and women are impossible and dangerous. He builds instead an eloquent case that male/female friendships are healthy, and necessary for becoming whole and complete people.
I found the following points especially inspiring:
--men and women throughout the ages, even Jesus and some of his female disciples, have had pure and life-giving, passionate friendships in which sex was not involved
--our culture has historically placed romance and sexual relationships as the highest and most desirable of relationships, demeaning not just male-female friendships but also same-sex friendships. In reality, intimate friendship is as valuable, and in some ways even more so, and should be held in as high esteem.
--friendships (cross-gender or same-gender) can and should be passionate and intimate, without involving sex. His discussion of David and Jonathan biblical friendship was beautiful and made me determined to show my closest friends (of either gender) how passionately I love them
With courage and candor, Brennan writes of his own marriage and his cross-gender friendships. His words give voice to ideas that many in the Church believe, but haven't expressed, because of the taboos against it.
This book casts a vision of relational freedom that also celebrates personal responsibility, a concern for the well-being of others, and the sacredness of each person we are in relationship with--whether spouse or friends. As a Bible scholar and leader in my own church, I was impressed with the depth of research and the academic and spiritual integrity of Brennan's conclusions.
It's a great book for opening up the conversation of how to bridge the gap between men and women in our churches. It challenged me to go beyond just conversing to find ways to put the concepts into practice in my own relationships.
As I read, I kept thinking, "Yes--this is what following Jesus is supposed to look like. This is what church community can be at its highest and most lovely." It inspired me to be part of making it reality.
I found the following points especially inspiring:
--men and women throughout the ages, even Jesus and some of his female disciples, have had pure and life-giving, passionate friendships in which sex was not involved
--our culture has historically placed romance and sexual relationships as the highest and most desirable of relationships, demeaning not just male-female friendships but also same-sex friendships. In reality, intimate friendship is as valuable, and in some ways even more so, and should be held in as high esteem.
--friendships (cross-gender or same-gender) can and should be passionate and intimate, without involving sex. His discussion of David and Jonathan biblical friendship was beautiful and made me determined to show my closest friends (of either gender) how passionately I love them
With courage and candor, Brennan writes of his own marriage and his cross-gender friendships. His words give voice to ideas that many in the Church believe, but haven't expressed, because of the taboos against it.
This book casts a vision of relational freedom that also celebrates personal responsibility, a concern for the well-being of others, and the sacredness of each person we are in relationship with--whether spouse or friends. As a Bible scholar and leader in my own church, I was impressed with the depth of research and the academic and spiritual integrity of Brennan's conclusions.
It's a great book for opening up the conversation of how to bridge the gap between men and women in our churches. It challenged me to go beyond just conversing to find ways to put the concepts into practice in my own relationships.
As I read, I kept thinking, "Yes--this is what following Jesus is supposed to look like. This is what church community can be at its highest and most lovely." It inspired me to be part of making it reality.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
Attention Christians: A Must-Read!I have made the outlandish suggestion that there is more to oneness in male-female relationships and sexuality than just sex or marriage. (p. 145)
What if cross-sex communion with a full range of nongenital passion is realistically possible and accessible in the new creation without violating the marriage bed? (p. 110)
Does the "true nature" of close male-female intimacy inherently lead to sex? (p. 54)
"In so many ways our culture trains us to be unfit for friendship." ---Paul Wadell (p. 33)
"You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not stopped kissing my feet."--Jesus Christ (p,119)
I don't usually use so many direct quotes from a book. but I believe you need to get the jist of what is covered by Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions by Dan Brennan! Now that's what I'm talking about Willis!"
Yesterday I reviewed what might be called a sex manual; today I review what might be called a sexuality manual...In some ways, the spirituality aspect of these books are the same.
Brennan mentions the study of young children needing touch and intimacy in order to grow. What happened to that philosophy? According to Brennan, through his well-research book, touch and intimacy were Freudized! Specifically, touching and intimacy were part of erotic love and, therefore, from a Christian standpoint, taboo to singles. Yet Jesus was single, remained unmarried--but had female, and male, friends and confidants!
Personally I'm not so sure that it was Freud that did all the damage; I lay the blame right where it should be for Christians--The Church. Here are two personal examples:
I was crying, hurt by what had happened...My pastor followed me outside to hug me, stating that it wasn't really allowed...
I wanted to discuss a personal problem with another pastor; I was told that a woman would have to be present (somebody who did not have vows saying that they would not divulge any of the counseling). I refused...
As a single, I can attest to everything Dan Brennan states about today's church culture--we are isolated, ignored, or if we become close to somebody, viewed as a potential "other woman" that could bring about marital problems. Not even our pastors are allowed to care and show love to singles!
Dan Brennan brings forth example after example of the potential of friendship, of communion within the Christian community. Yet, it is as if readings from the Bible have been so distorted by our sexualized culture that there is no way to reach out to a brother church member to seek guidance, counseling, prayer, yes friendship.
Yet this is what we were called to do? Like the kiss of the innocent children, or the grateful woman who washed Jesus' feet, not every intimate relationship leads to a sexual encounter! Have you been as angry and frustrated as me as a single woman? Have you worked and become close friends with a male co-worker, or even your boss, and have it frowned upon by other coworkers or a spouse?
Now we have sexual harrassment laws that say never touch a co-worker, never show friendship or concern. Why? Because there is always a sexual connotation applied or assumed. Dan Brennan has spoken out. I for one, totally support what He is teaching as God's word! It's a start Dan--but there is so far to go! Keep writing and start sharing even more. Christians need to hear you!
Of course I consider this a must-read for anyone in the Christian community...Anybody else? I think it is a cultural issue as well...what do you think?
G. A. Bixler
What if cross-sex communion with a full range of nongenital passion is realistically possible and accessible in the new creation without violating the marriage bed? (p. 110)
Does the "true nature" of close male-female intimacy inherently lead to sex? (p. 54)
"In so many ways our culture trains us to be unfit for friendship." ---Paul Wadell (p. 33)
"You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not stopped kissing my feet."--Jesus Christ (p,119)
I don't usually use so many direct quotes from a book. but I believe you need to get the jist of what is covered by Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions by Dan Brennan! Now that's what I'm talking about Willis!"
Yesterday I reviewed what might be called a sex manual; today I review what might be called a sexuality manual...In some ways, the spirituality aspect of these books are the same.
Brennan mentions the study of young children needing touch and intimacy in order to grow. What happened to that philosophy? According to Brennan, through his well-research book, touch and intimacy were Freudized! Specifically, touching and intimacy were part of erotic love and, therefore, from a Christian standpoint, taboo to singles. Yet Jesus was single, remained unmarried--but had female, and male, friends and confidants!
Personally I'm not so sure that it was Freud that did all the damage; I lay the blame right where it should be for Christians--The Church. Here are two personal examples:
I was crying, hurt by what had happened...My pastor followed me outside to hug me, stating that it wasn't really allowed...
I wanted to discuss a personal problem with another pastor; I was told that a woman would have to be present (somebody who did not have vows saying that they would not divulge any of the counseling). I refused...
As a single, I can attest to everything Dan Brennan states about today's church culture--we are isolated, ignored, or if we become close to somebody, viewed as a potential "other woman" that could bring about marital problems. Not even our pastors are allowed to care and show love to singles!
Dan Brennan brings forth example after example of the potential of friendship, of communion within the Christian community. Yet, it is as if readings from the Bible have been so distorted by our sexualized culture that there is no way to reach out to a brother church member to seek guidance, counseling, prayer, yes friendship.
Yet this is what we were called to do? Like the kiss of the innocent children, or the grateful woman who washed Jesus' feet, not every intimate relationship leads to a sexual encounter! Have you been as angry and frustrated as me as a single woman? Have you worked and become close friends with a male co-worker, or even your boss, and have it frowned upon by other coworkers or a spouse?
Now we have sexual harrassment laws that say never touch a co-worker, never show friendship or concern. Why? Because there is always a sexual connotation applied or assumed. Dan Brennan has spoken out. I for one, totally support what He is teaching as God's word! It's a start Dan--but there is so far to go! Keep writing and start sharing even more. Christians need to hear you!
Of course I consider this a must-read for anyone in the Christian community...Anybody else? I think it is a cultural issue as well...what do you think?
G. A. Bixler
0 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
splendidly readable, and charitably subversive,(note: several links are mentioned in the review..To make them active links,and to see a video inteview of the author). see this same review on my "Holy Heteroclite" blog)
--
Dan Brennan's splendidly readable, and charitably subversive, "Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions
Engaging the Mystery of Friendship Between Men and Women"
definitely came along at the right time for me. Brennan's unique, straightforward, and engaging way of tackling the topic; and his unique, straightforward, and engaging approach connected dots for me among three growing convictions:
--A reductionist view of sexuality almost inevitably becomes seductionist. We are (g)not gnostic. By obsessing with rules, we end up being ruled by obsexxing. Ironically, that's when we may be most vulnerable. We in the Protestant tradition can all these (5oo!!)years later still define ourselves primarily by what we are against, and not by what/Who we are for. We desperately need to incorporate insights from Catholic and Eastern streams to keep center, and steer away from gnostic ditches.
---The Trinitarian nature of life, relationships, church/ecclesiology....of, well, everything...has profound ( and profoundly untapped) implications for....well, everything.
----The promise of the rabbinic tradition of "elevation" (which Bono of course has prophetically endorsed/sung about/prayed about) is uniquely applicable our current juncture in postmodernity and church history.
Bottom line: The books is on cross-sex friendships, and a defense of how they can work.
That no other evangelical Christian-oriented book has even been dedicated to this topic at all..
...let alone challenged the deeply-embedded conservagelical party line (which ironically sounds like the folks Paul is poking fun at in the "Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!" of Colossians 2:21)....
in our lifetime (part of the point, earlier writers, many of them...gasp!...Catholic, have done well here) is enough to recommend it.
But the way he traces church history (I recently learned a lot about church history...by teaching it! That the "holy kiss" commanded in the New Testament was counterinuitively on the lips, even when cross-gender, nailed me...but not as much as the profound reason for that, see this link) and interweaves solid biblical exegesis, and knows just the right quote from hugely helpful thinkers as Leanne Payne, Rob Bell, Scot McKnight, Marva Dawn, Rodney Clapp, catapults this to a five-star review.
I am about to confess:
I have been known to occasionally meet publicly with women at Starbuck's.
!!
I am not sure I would be comfortable with doing so at a full-blown restaurant, indoors, as a meal. (Except, say, with a pastor friend and colleague in our network.....who just happens to be named Nancy......... and female).
Right or wrong, I still generally keep the Saddleback/Billy Graham guidelines (which the book weighs).
Though I am certain the Holy Spirit will lead me to break them a bit more (biblically, even though I am not a binitarian bibliolater...read this).
And yes, I am aware that even the Starbuck's level meetings can be risky
(see "Uncle Ernie at Uncle Harry's" and "God, beach and breasts"), and that we men (in particular) risk over-sexualizing.
But since that infamous Scripture that nine out of ten evangelicals would swear (well, promise) on stack of Bibles was in the Bible ("Avoid the appearance of evil") is nowhere in the Bible (and the one Scripture we confuse for that one actually makes basically the opposite point, please read this link from Tia Lynn)..
..the risk I am worried about should not be "what will people think."
The risk I may be indeed taking is that I won't grow as a disciple of Jesus, unless I do occasionally partake in such "sacred order" encounters.
I am in sin if I "avoid all appearance of evil."
Well. for the two readers that are left, I continue (:
I don't intend to write a review that is a summary of the content, or even one that fully divulges where he lands, but one that references and quotes the book briefly, through the grid of the three topics I laid out above (and copied below).
I sincerely hope you are already sold on the book, and my comments will intrigue you into cutting the deal.
I highly recommend reading chapter one (or watching this video interview withthe author) if you have any doubt; then I would double dare you not to finish the book in one setting.
Onward:
1)A reductionist view of sexuality almost inevitably becomes seductionist. We are (g)not gnostic. By obsessing with rules, we end up being ruled by obsexxing. Ironically, that's when we may be most vulnerable....
Rob Bell, who is quoted wisely throughout the book, asserts that
"our sexuality is all the ways we strive to reconnect with our world, with each other, and with God."
If that is so (and the Bible backs it, see Brennan's studies of Genesis, for example), how can we avoid (or why should we) what the author calls "embodied relationships" that are inevitably sexual, but not romantic or erotic?
Such is what the amazing "cloud of witnesses" throughout church history that Brennan invokes and quotes attest to (Why have we never seen these quotes elsewhere?)
As I wrote about it in The Reduction of Seduction posts (here and here) I do get how we in leadership cannot help but complicate relationships with "parishoners" or others who view us in a pastoral/God-figure role. The "woman in the 22nd pew" has permanently messed up my life, thank God.
And there is need to always remember the names we'd like to forget (from Swaggart to Haggard)
But it is precisely we as leaders, with our drive to control, that hinders the Spirit's work in our communities. In the name of carefulness, we abdicate prayerfulness. We inadvertently (??) bless legalism, sell gnosticm, and endorse immorality.
Really?
What if I simply quoted two of the most acceptable standards among evangelical writers here
These are the killer quotes (if read thrice and pondered) that Brennan brilliantly introduces us to:
"It is therefore easy to see why Authority frowns on friendship.
Every real friendship is a sort of secession, even a rebellion." (C.S. Lewis, p. 145)
"[Seeking intimacy, at any level} is not a venture that gets the support of many people.
It is inefficient." (Eugene Peterson, p. 150).
No wonder we (I) hijack our sermons and framejack our pastoral counsel;
we feed (our) power, and fear (the peoples) freedom.
Much better to be found faithful and inefficient
(Read Ellul, please....as well as the Marva Dawn "I cast you out, foul spirit of effectiveness" article here).
Thus, our sermons on "thou must" create musterbation.
We "should" on people.
Also, that this author (like hardly anyone else you read today, save the Godsend N.T. Wright) radically gets what Scripture means
by "New Creation" is worth the price of the book. Any serious study of 2 Corinthians will reveal that the only way it cannot be translated is the way we pastors have always preached it (and likely the only way you have ever heard it: "If anyone is in Christ, they are a new creation," When a straightforward reading of the Greek is "If anyone is in Christ, there the new creation is [in part].
Every pastor worth his or her salt knows that's what it says, but who preaches it?
"New Creation" throughout the Bible is a corporate manifestation of the Kingdom of God; the Kingdom of the future partly and partially consummated in the present life,and on earth.
Yes, I see that hand. I know all the dangers of an overly "realized eschatology." Yes, I know the Corinthian church bough it hook line and sinker, and it led to sexual (and other) immorality.
But I also know the danger of not realizing the fourth petition of the Lord's Prayer
(Read Ladd, Wright, et al...or how about the Bible in context for a change and get back to me!
And check Brennan's quotes below.
The fact that he incorporates the biblical worldview of New Creation in passing; without even defending or commenting on it like I just did, is refreshing and revolutionary, timely and telling:
"in the new creation, men and women are not limited to stark contrasts where we must choose between romantic passion or inappropriate sex/infidelity." (p.. 17)
"rethinking male-female oneness in the new creation...in this new age, the New Testament makes clear there are new social intimacies." (71-72)
"in the beginning of the new creation...with his resurrection, Jesus met Mary Madgalene, an unmarried woman, alone in a garden.." (99)
How tragic that those who preach the most on "not being of the world," don't often preach on "being in the Kingdom."
As Len Sweet says, "We are in the world, and not of it...but not out of it yet, either."
In this world we will have troubles...but also delightful marital sex, and delightful non-romantic cross-sex relationships! If that word "Delight" trips you up, do NOT read one of the strongest section in "Sacred Passions' on that D-word!
2)The Trinitarian nature of life, relationships, church/ecclesiology....of, well, everything...has profound ( and profoundly untapped) implications for....well, everything:
I was thrilled to find extensive coverage of the practical ramifications of a Trinitarian worldview, ecclesiology, and sexology. I have often quoted Len Hjalmarson and Jurgen Moltmann on this lens (see labels marked "trinity" below), so found these additional quotes confirmational:
"our trust in the Trinity's embrace frees us to love more fully with triune types of love--fostering deep relationships that involve solid friendships without sexual innuendo"
(Marva Dawn, p. 77)
"It is precisely the one triune God in whose image all human beings are created who holds the promise of peace between men and women with irreducible but changing identities."
(Miraslov Volf, p. 146)
"Like the Trinity, we are called to understand who we are not as isolated individuals who have to make contracts to protect ourselves, but as persons with faces turned towards God and each other." (Edith Humphrey, p. 169)
If you are thinking this all sounds like theological gobbledygook, or a "sloppy agape" "free-love" orgy, you are far from the point. We cannot theologize, or make practical decisions without the Bedrock doctrine (and lifesource) of the Triune God who is intrinsically relationship ( liminally and missionally).
3)The promise of the rabbinic tradition of "elevation" (which Bono of course has prophetically endorsed/sung about/prayed about) is uniquely applicable our current juncture in postmodernity and church history.
On this final point/thesis of mine....maybe one related quote from Brennan which radically re-paints a category such as "chastity" as positive will suffice:
"Chastity, then, becomes the relational skill of choosing freedom to dance with personal beauty, goodness and truth in embodied relationships (138).
On this point, I can do no better than point you to rabbis...and Bono:.
We start with Rabbi Cohen;
"For the chasid, prayer is not something one recites, it is rather an exercise that one performs, or an
experience that one enters into.... There is no room for inhibition...singing and dancing are essential means by which ...he expresses his emotional cleaving to God....but
that desire for God has to be so overwhelming that any extraneous thoughts are excluded...If distractions are erotic in nature...and (one) faces up to the predominance of the sexual urge at both conscious and subconscious levels, and
its capacity to intrude even during prayer...then he has learned to take measures...Chasidism dealt with this by introducing the doctrine of the "elevation of strange
thoughts." This...technique not of sublimation, but of thought conversion, whereby the beauty or desirability of the woman is latched upon and used not as a sexual but rather as a mental and spiritual stimulus.... taught to "elevate" these thoughts by substituting the beauty of God for the
physical beauty that is currently bewitching us. (The pray-er) has learned to immediately contrast the pale reflection of beauty that humans are endowed with, on the one hand, and the supreme Divine source of authentic and enduring beauty,
on the other..."
link
Any U2 fan will immediately and clearly connect all this to the U2 song, "Elevation."
(Read more, and exegete and watch the song here...ideally it's a soundtrack to this great book)
---
So please, buy the book.
Read it...at Starbucks...with a friend.
Nancy?
--
Dan Brennan's splendidly readable, and charitably subversive, "Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions
Engaging the Mystery of Friendship Between Men and Women"
definitely came along at the right time for me. Brennan's unique, straightforward, and engaging way of tackling the topic; and his unique, straightforward, and engaging approach connected dots for me among three growing convictions:
--A reductionist view of sexuality almost inevitably becomes seductionist. We are (g)not gnostic. By obsessing with rules, we end up being ruled by obsexxing. Ironically, that's when we may be most vulnerable. We in the Protestant tradition can all these (5oo!!)years later still define ourselves primarily by what we are against, and not by what/Who we are for. We desperately need to incorporate insights from Catholic and Eastern streams to keep center, and steer away from gnostic ditches.
---The Trinitarian nature of life, relationships, church/ecclesiology....of, well, everything...has profound ( and profoundly untapped) implications for....well, everything.
----The promise of the rabbinic tradition of "elevation" (which Bono of course has prophetically endorsed/sung about/prayed about) is uniquely applicable our current juncture in postmodernity and church history.
Bottom line: The books is on cross-sex friendships, and a defense of how they can work.
That no other evangelical Christian-oriented book has even been dedicated to this topic at all..
...let alone challenged the deeply-embedded conservagelical party line (which ironically sounds like the folks Paul is poking fun at in the "Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!" of Colossians 2:21)....
in our lifetime (part of the point, earlier writers, many of them...gasp!...Catholic, have done well here) is enough to recommend it.
But the way he traces church history (I recently learned a lot about church history...by teaching it! That the "holy kiss" commanded in the New Testament was counterinuitively on the lips, even when cross-gender, nailed me...but not as much as the profound reason for that, see this link) and interweaves solid biblical exegesis, and knows just the right quote from hugely helpful thinkers as Leanne Payne, Rob Bell, Scot McKnight, Marva Dawn, Rodney Clapp, catapults this to a five-star review.
I am about to confess:
I have been known to occasionally meet publicly with women at Starbuck's.
!!
I am not sure I would be comfortable with doing so at a full-blown restaurant, indoors, as a meal. (Except, say, with a pastor friend and colleague in our network.....who just happens to be named Nancy......... and female).
Right or wrong, I still generally keep the Saddleback/Billy Graham guidelines (which the book weighs).
Though I am certain the Holy Spirit will lead me to break them a bit more (biblically, even though I am not a binitarian bibliolater...read this).
And yes, I am aware that even the Starbuck's level meetings can be risky
(see "Uncle Ernie at Uncle Harry's" and "God, beach and breasts"), and that we men (in particular) risk over-sexualizing.
But since that infamous Scripture that nine out of ten evangelicals would swear (well, promise) on stack of Bibles was in the Bible ("Avoid the appearance of evil") is nowhere in the Bible (and the one Scripture we confuse for that one actually makes basically the opposite point, please read this link from Tia Lynn)..
..the risk I am worried about should not be "what will people think."
The risk I may be indeed taking is that I won't grow as a disciple of Jesus, unless I do occasionally partake in such "sacred order" encounters.
I am in sin if I "avoid all appearance of evil."
Well. for the two readers that are left, I continue (:
I don't intend to write a review that is a summary of the content, or even one that fully divulges where he lands, but one that references and quotes the book briefly, through the grid of the three topics I laid out above (and copied below).
I sincerely hope you are already sold on the book, and my comments will intrigue you into cutting the deal.
I highly recommend reading chapter one (or watching this video interview withthe author) if you have any doubt; then I would double dare you not to finish the book in one setting.
Onward:
1)A reductionist view of sexuality almost inevitably becomes seductionist. We are (g)not gnostic. By obsessing with rules, we end up being ruled by obsexxing. Ironically, that's when we may be most vulnerable....
Rob Bell, who is quoted wisely throughout the book, asserts that
"our sexuality is all the ways we strive to reconnect with our world, with each other, and with God."
If that is so (and the Bible backs it, see Brennan's studies of Genesis, for example), how can we avoid (or why should we) what the author calls "embodied relationships" that are inevitably sexual, but not romantic or erotic?
Such is what the amazing "cloud of witnesses" throughout church history that Brennan invokes and quotes attest to (Why have we never seen these quotes elsewhere?)
As I wrote about it in The Reduction of Seduction posts (here and here) I do get how we in leadership cannot help but complicate relationships with "parishoners" or others who view us in a pastoral/God-figure role. The "woman in the 22nd pew" has permanently messed up my life, thank God.
And there is need to always remember the names we'd like to forget (from Swaggart to Haggard)
But it is precisely we as leaders, with our drive to control, that hinders the Spirit's work in our communities. In the name of carefulness, we abdicate prayerfulness. We inadvertently (??) bless legalism, sell gnosticm, and endorse immorality.
Really?
What if I simply quoted two of the most acceptable standards among evangelical writers here
These are the killer quotes (if read thrice and pondered) that Brennan brilliantly introduces us to:
"It is therefore easy to see why Authority frowns on friendship.
Every real friendship is a sort of secession, even a rebellion." (C.S. Lewis, p. 145)
"[Seeking intimacy, at any level} is not a venture that gets the support of many people.
It is inefficient." (Eugene Peterson, p. 150).
No wonder we (I) hijack our sermons and framejack our pastoral counsel;
we feed (our) power, and fear (the peoples) freedom.
Much better to be found faithful and inefficient
(Read Ellul, please....as well as the Marva Dawn "I cast you out, foul spirit of effectiveness" article here).
Thus, our sermons on "thou must" create musterbation.
We "should" on people.
Also, that this author (like hardly anyone else you read today, save the Godsend N.T. Wright) radically gets what Scripture means
by "New Creation" is worth the price of the book. Any serious study of 2 Corinthians will reveal that the only way it cannot be translated is the way we pastors have always preached it (and likely the only way you have ever heard it: "If anyone is in Christ, they are a new creation," When a straightforward reading of the Greek is "If anyone is in Christ, there the new creation is [in part].
Every pastor worth his or her salt knows that's what it says, but who preaches it?
"New Creation" throughout the Bible is a corporate manifestation of the Kingdom of God; the Kingdom of the future partly and partially consummated in the present life,and on earth.
Yes, I see that hand. I know all the dangers of an overly "realized eschatology." Yes, I know the Corinthian church bough it hook line and sinker, and it led to sexual (and other) immorality.
But I also know the danger of not realizing the fourth petition of the Lord's Prayer
(Read Ladd, Wright, et al...or how about the Bible in context for a change and get back to me!
And check Brennan's quotes below.
The fact that he incorporates the biblical worldview of New Creation in passing; without even defending or commenting on it like I just did, is refreshing and revolutionary, timely and telling:
"in the new creation, men and women are not limited to stark contrasts where we must choose between romantic passion or inappropriate sex/infidelity." (p.. 17)
"rethinking male-female oneness in the new creation...in this new age, the New Testament makes clear there are new social intimacies." (71-72)
"in the beginning of the new creation...with his resurrection, Jesus met Mary Madgalene, an unmarried woman, alone in a garden.." (99)
How tragic that those who preach the most on "not being of the world," don't often preach on "being in the Kingdom."
As Len Sweet says, "We are in the world, and not of it...but not out of it yet, either."
In this world we will have troubles...but also delightful marital sex, and delightful non-romantic cross-sex relationships! If that word "Delight" trips you up, do NOT read one of the strongest section in "Sacred Passions' on that D-word!
2)The Trinitarian nature of life, relationships, church/ecclesiology....of, well, everything...has profound ( and profoundly untapped) implications for....well, everything:
I was thrilled to find extensive coverage of the practical ramifications of a Trinitarian worldview, ecclesiology, and sexology. I have often quoted Len Hjalmarson and Jurgen Moltmann on this lens (see labels marked "trinity" below), so found these additional quotes confirmational:
"our trust in the Trinity's embrace frees us to love more fully with triune types of love--fostering deep relationships that involve solid friendships without sexual innuendo"
(Marva Dawn, p. 77)
"It is precisely the one triune God in whose image all human beings are created who holds the promise of peace between men and women with irreducible but changing identities."
(Miraslov Volf, p. 146)
"Like the Trinity, we are called to understand who we are not as isolated individuals who have to make contracts to protect ourselves, but as persons with faces turned towards God and each other." (Edith Humphrey, p. 169)
If you are thinking this all sounds like theological gobbledygook, or a "sloppy agape" "free-love" orgy, you are far from the point. We cannot theologize, or make practical decisions without the Bedrock doctrine (and lifesource) of the Triune God who is intrinsically relationship ( liminally and missionally).
3)The promise of the rabbinic tradition of "elevation" (which Bono of course has prophetically endorsed/sung about/prayed about) is uniquely applicable our current juncture in postmodernity and church history.
On this final point/thesis of mine....maybe one related quote from Brennan which radically re-paints a category such as "chastity" as positive will suffice:
"Chastity, then, becomes the relational skill of choosing freedom to dance with personal beauty, goodness and truth in embodied relationships (138).
On this point, I can do no better than point you to rabbis...and Bono:.
We start with Rabbi Cohen;
"For the chasid, prayer is not something one recites, it is rather an exercise that one performs, or an
experience that one enters into.... There is no room for inhibition...singing and dancing are essential means by which ...he expresses his emotional cleaving to God....but
that desire for God has to be so overwhelming that any extraneous thoughts are excluded...If distractions are erotic in nature...and (one) faces up to the predominance of the sexual urge at both conscious and subconscious levels, and
its capacity to intrude even during prayer...then he has learned to take measures...Chasidism dealt with this by introducing the doctrine of the "elevation of strange
thoughts." This...technique not of sublimation, but of thought conversion, whereby the beauty or desirability of the woman is latched upon and used not as a sexual but rather as a mental and spiritual stimulus.... taught to "elevate" these thoughts by substituting the beauty of God for the
physical beauty that is currently bewitching us. (The pray-er) has learned to immediately contrast the pale reflection of beauty that humans are endowed with, on the one hand, and the supreme Divine source of authentic and enduring beauty,
on the other..."
link
Any U2 fan will immediately and clearly connect all this to the U2 song, "Elevation."
(Read more, and exegete and watch the song here...ideally it's a soundtrack to this great book)
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So please, buy the book.
Read it...at Starbucks...with a friend.
Nancy?
Sacred Union, Sacred PassionI was intrigued by the premise of this book and I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed it. I have known for sometime that a man and a woman can have a wonderful (platonic) friendship.
I personally have had many woman friends over the years and one in particular that was during a time when I needed a friend most of all. It was a friendship that strengthened my faith and pushed me to think of my relationship with Christ as more than just private and personal. However, throughout those times, I never could fully legitimize these relationships (in my mind) because of societal taboos. This book explained to my head what my heart had known all along.
What an awesome book... I recommend it unstintingly!
I personally have had many woman friends over the years and one in particular that was during a time when I needed a friend most of all. It was a friendship that strengthened my faith and pushed me to think of my relationship with Christ as more than just private and personal. However, throughout those times, I never could fully legitimize these relationships (in my mind) because of societal taboos. This book explained to my head what my heart had known all along.
What an awesome book... I recommend it unstintingly!
by Dan J Brennan (Author)
Price: $14.39
